Melting Your Clouds

I woke at 3:45am with my mind flying at Mach 3. My Outlook calendar, to-do list, dead-lines and failures were flashing through my brain, overwhelming me; my head feeling full and spinning. I stepped into the hot shower thinking I could steam the thoughts away like dipping into a cup of soothing hot tea. I read the Bible and prayed, asking for calm. A friend had given me Psalm 37 as a reading, but my eyes followed the words into Psalm 38.   Yes, this was me . . . I felt myself in every groan of David. Here’s just a sample:

"Because I have been foolish, my sores stink and rot.  I am bent over, I am crushed; I mourn all day long. I am burning with fever and I am near death. I am worn out and utterly crushed; my heart is troubled, and I groan with pain. O Lord, you know what I long for; you hear all my groans. My heart is pounding, my strength is gone, and my eyes have lost their brightness."

But then I got to the end, and the hope:

"But I trust in you, O Lord; and you, O Lord my God, will answer me . . . Do not abandon me, O Lord; do not stay away, my God! Help me now, O Lord my savior!"

You may wonder what brought that flood into my life. It was a cascading over time of many things of interrelated actions, relationships and personal shortcomings, within which my mind and heart could not realize a rest.  Sharing this with my wife, she suggested a good power walk along the nearby Buff Park. So I bundled up and marched down the sidewalk in the chilly early morning air.

I no time I was warmed up, unzipped my bomber jacket and my mind was clearing a bit. As I rounded the corner away from the Bluff, something had me turn around and cross Ocean Blvd onto the Bluff Park walkway – face into the breeze. And there it was. It stopped me cold.

There, next to the bluff railing, curled up into a disheveled lump, huddled under a blanket, was a shivering mass of human being. I don’t know if the shaking was from the cold or effects of drugs – or both, but my head suddenly cleared and froze right there seeing total helplessness. What was I doing embracing David’s groanings, when I’m looking at the stark reality of Psalm 38?  I prayed right there for that person and admonished myself, for beyond my cloud of worry and confusion are people in far worse condition.

May we reach through our clouds of emotional and mental concerns this day and be thankful for our lives and those with whom God has surrounded us. If you are alone, go to a shelter or church that is serving the poor and disadvantaged . . . your clouds will melt away as you share your life with another needy soul.